Geekly News: November 2, 2018

Published on November 2, 2018November 1, 2018 by KyraLeave a comment

Elder Scrolls VI Release Window Announced

This bit of news doesn’t amount to much. It’s a slow news week, so eh. Bethesda announced that the Elder Scrolls VI Redfall will be a PS5 and Xbox (whatever they’ll call it) release. That’s pretty much what I figured. I said as much two or three weeks ago; this is just confirmation.

Starfield may have a chance of gracing current consoles, but there was little to no chance Redfall would make the PS4 or Xbox One. Fallout 76 counts as one of Bethesda’s flagship releases and the company likes to release one flagship title every three or four years. That means that Starfield should come out around 2021—maybe 2020 because they’ve been working on it for 6 years already and 2020 sounds like an awesome release year. Okay, there’s little chance Starfield will be a current generation console release.

Elder Scrolls VI should be released three to four years after Starfield, so that puts its release year at 2023 through 2025. Oh boy.

Guardians of the Galaxy 3 on Hold (Again)

Okay, maybe this is a pretty busy week of news. The third volume of Guardians of the Galaxy may not survive the firing of James Gunn. Here’s a quick recap of what’s happened. James Gunn posted insensitive tweets and was eventually fired as the director of Guardians Vol. 3. Some of the franchise’s actors back Gunn and Disney/Marvel has had a devil of a time finding another director they like. This has led to a stop-start every week or two.

MCU boss Kevin Feige announced this week that the franchise is on an indefinite hold. If the sides can’t find common ground (Bautista has no contract that covers a third Guardians movie), there’s a good chance that Guardians of the Galaxy 3 may not happen at all. Don’t worry. The gang will make an appearance in Avengers 4.

Boba Fett Movie Cancelled

Kathleen Kennedy confirms that the Boba Fett Star Wars spinoff movie is “100% dead.” While the cancellation of a Boba Fett movie helmed by Logan director James Mangold may upset some, the reason for this move is a shift to the Jon Favreau penned live-action TV series The Mandalorian. I couldn’t see both projects taking off, so a little focus for the Fett man may be in order. Let’s hope The Mandalorian delivers.

Andy Muschietti to Direct Attack On Titan

It director Andy Muschietti has just signed on to make a new Attack On Titan live-action film adaptation. The first one didn’t land well with manga readers. Why must every movie have a love story—especially when there isn’t a love story in the original work? Muschietti is a big fan of the original manga and if his work on It is any indication, the new Attack On Titan film will get the blockbuster treatment with plenty of chills.

PlayStation Classic Games List Confirmed

PlayStation announced that it’d join Nintendo with its line of diminutive classic systems with 20 preloaded games several months ago, but this week they announced the full list of games that’ll come with the system. They are as follows:

Battle Arena Toshinden
Cool Boarders 2
Destruction Derby
Final Fantasy VII
Grand Theft Auto
Intelligent Qube
Jumping Flash
Metal Gear Solid
Driller
Oddworld: Abe’s Oddysee
Rayman
Resident Evil (Director’s Cut)
Revelations: Persona
Ridge Racer Type 4
Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo
Syphon Filter
Tekken 3
Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six
Twisted Metal
Wild Arms

A lot of these are classic games or the first game in genre defining series. The PlayStation Classic hits shelves on December 5, 2018.

Video Games

Taiko no Tatsujin: Drum ‘n’ Fun! and Drum Session! (Switch, PS4)

Drum ‘n’ Fun (Switch) and Drum Session (PS4) mark the first time that a Taiko no Tatsujin game made it to the West. This series is a huge arcade/rhythm game in the East and it’s only a matter of time to see if the States and other countries will take to its catchy beats.

Movies

Bohemian Rhapsody

This is the big one this week for me. I’m a sucker for biopics and I like Queen. I don’t watch too many biopics in theaters, but I may make an exception for Bohemian Rhapsody, the biopic for Queen front man Freddie Mercury.

The Nutcracker and the Four Realms

Could this film be so bad that it’s good? I’m not sure. A lot of critics have called it “soulless” and “incoherent,” but the visual effects are good. It sounds like an impressive cast that includes Keira Knightley, Helen Mirren, and Morgan Freeman can’t help The Nutcracker and the Four Realms from becoming Disney’s worst reviewed film in history. Yikes!

Suspiria

This one won’t be for everyone. If this movie follows the 1977 original, Suspiria tackles some heady material, and its trailer depicts vampires who let the blood flow even more. This lends itself to multiple watches, once to get over the gore and the second to dig deeper into what the film is about, but a run time of two and a half hours may be a little long.

Nobody’s Fool

This is the latest Tyler Perry comedy. In this one, Tanya (Tiffany Haddish) is released from prison and is reunited with her family. The family learns that she’s in an online relationship with a mystery man who may be “catfishing” her. It’s a fun premise, so I may watch it. It also doesn’t hurt that Whoopi Goldberg, Amber Riley (Glee), and Mehcad Brooks (Jimmy Olsen from Supergirl) are in the cast.

Bodied

Eminem produces this odd fusion of comedy, battle rap. Eminem has a knack for the theatrical and it looks to continue here. Bodied has received a lot of praise and high marks, so it may be worth a watch.

The Front Runner

This one starts early next week. It’s another biopic, this time based on Matt Bai’s All the Truth Is Out: The Week Politics Went Tabloid. In short, it’s Hugh Jackman portraying Senator Gary Hart during his 1988 presidential campaign where he’s caught up in an extramarital affair with Donna Rice.

TV

Friday, November 2, 2018

Homecoming (Amazon)

I’ve talked about this one in the past. Julia Roberts stars as a caseworker who helps military members transition to civilian life. Years after she starts a new life as a waitress when a Department of Defense auditor questions why she left the program. There may be more to her being placed as a former caseworker than she realizes.

House of Cards (Netflix)

Today marks House of Cards’ final season. I lost interest a long time ago, and the Kevin Spacey scandal didn’t help, but hopefully Netflix’s first original series ends on a high note.

The Other Side of the Wind (Netflix)

This film may be the biggest thing Netflix has ever produced; it’s one of Orson Welles’s lost films. Being locked away in a Paris vault (due to legal issues) for decades didn’t prevent The Other Side of the Wind from influencing other films that came after it. It all but created the Mockumentary. What’s even better is that Netflix plans to release a follow up documentary on the film’s history which may be just as interesting.

Watergate (History)

History beats The Front Runner (Gary Hart) to the punch with this series about Watergate. This scandal may have marked the United States’ loss of innocence; it definitely gave birth to scandal journalism.

Sunday, November 4, 2018

Mickey’s 90^th Spectacular (ABC)

Mickey Mouse made his first appearance on May 15, 1928 (Plane Crazy), and Steamboat Willie was released around Thanksgiving of the same year. Mickey’s 90^th Spectacular is a special that celebrates Mickey throughout the decades.

Outlander (Starz)

Based on the historical time travel book series of the same name, Outlander returns for a fourth season on Starz. The premise sounds interesting and it’s received good ratings, so I may give it a try.

Board Games

Betrayal Legacy

I may be a little late with this one, because tabletop games are difficult to track down with their new releases. Betrayal Legacy holds my interest with a death grip. Rob Daviau was involved with the original Betrayal at House on the Hill (think of a Joss Whedon’s Cabin in the Woods in board game form) and he adds his patented legacy game mechanism to the mix. For the uninitiated, legacy games are games that change the board through multiple plays, so Betrayal Legacy should play out more like a movie and the choices players make will have lasting consequences.

I may pour a little cold water on this writeup with saying that legacy games aren’t always executed as well as they could be. Gamers may want to wait and read a review (a spoiler-free review as this board game will play like a movie) before purchasing it.

That’s all we have for Geekly news this week. Be kind to one another and stay geeky.

Halloween Costumes I’d Like to Wear One Day

Published on October 27, 2018October 20, 2018 by KyraLeave a comment

It’s Halloween time and your uncle Geekly has made Halloween costumes in the past. Okay. They were cosplays for various conventions and if Halloween was around the corner, so be it. Geekly’s gone as Hinata (Naruto), some failed attempts at a few others, and many times dressed as Medieval farmhand #3, but there are plenty of Halloween costumes Geekly hasn’t tried making and would like to at some point.

**C-3PO (Star Wars)**

It’s a classic, but there’s a reason it’s a classic. We’re talking actual metal. None of that phony plastic stuff. Yes. The stay at least five feet away from him on a stormy night 3PO. If it doesn’t creak or squeak, it doesn’t count. With so many remote control R2-D2s on the market this costume would be a blast.

Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid)

I’ve tried this one before, but never went out in public with it. No. I’m not talking the camouflage wearing Snake everyone knows and loves. I’m talking about the Snake everyone likes most but is afraid to admit it: cardboard box Snake. Yeah. I have a pair of BDU paints and combat boots from my days in the service. All I need is a large box and getting the box is half the fun. I can’t think of anything better than to walk up to a sales associate and ask for a box big enough to fit a grown man. You can’t ask what it’s for.

Sasori (Naruto)

We went from the simplest to the most difficult. If I were to dress as Sasori, it’d have to be the entire thing. We’re talking his tank puppet Hiruko, a hundred puppets for his Red Secret Technique, his various other human puppets (the Third Kazekage and his parents) and turning my own body into a puppet. Okay, I may have gone too far.

Big Daddy (Bio Shock)

Another one that must be made of metal. Hmm. That would make it a little difficult to maneuver. Something other than metal might be okay, but it must have an authentic look with little sisters and all that. I’ve seen this done many times, but the best had to have been at Gen Con. Maybe I can borrow the costume. Do you think there’d be a listing on Craig’s List?

Sheogorath (Elder Scrolls)

Sheogorath’s costume may or may not be that complicated, but I like any excuse to speak and think like the Daedric Prince of Madness. I’m constantly doing the Fish Stick.

These are your uncle Geekly’s bucket Halloween costumes of sorts. Let me know what yours are or if you’ve been any of these characters, message me your contact info or you can just leave a comment. I’d advise not to leave any personal information.

3 Lists of 3 Video Game Enemies Made of Weak Sauce

Published on October 15, 2018October 13, 2018 by KyraLeave a comment

Video game villains or enemies can’t all be made of the finer things like Final Fantasy VI’s Kefka, Shadow of the Colossus’ Dormin or even Bowser. This week your uncle Geekly’s three list of three will cover the video game enemies who bleed weak sauce.

These are the guys you can bludgeon with one strike of your foam hammer, and they’ll pass out. We’ll start with ones you can find in many different video game franchises.

Pathetic Generic Enemies

Rats

Why does it always have to be rats? These little rodents don’t put up much of a fight unless they swarm the field. To be fair, that’s what a lot of games do with rats to make them more of a menace, but rats still don’t strike fear in the hearts of virtual heroes. My eyes get wide when I see them in an Elder Scrolls game. Heck, I picked the Fighter’s Guild quest line first in Morrowind, because of the rats.

A couple of well-placed swings will send the hoards to rat heaven where the streets are made of Cheez-Its, and it rains cheese fondue.

Skeletons

While you’ll see another undead come up next, skeletons are a classic video game enemy. I’m not exactly sure what holds them together, especially since they can’t take a licking. Super Mario Bros’ Dry Bones fall apart and somehow get back together after taking a couple of breaths(?).

Skeletons aren’t that sneaky either because you can hear their bones rattling across an empty tomb, and that’s where one would normally find one. At least the player has to look down at their feet—or non-existent feet if you’re playing Elder Scrolls—to see a rat after hearing it squeak.

There’s a reason why Undertale’s Sans came out of nowhere: skeletons aren’t supposed to be tough.

Zombies

Zombies are the undead version of rats. A single zombie doesn’t scare the typical gamer, one shot to the head usually does the trick, but that’s not what makes zombies formidable. It’s the throng of zombies—or is it the herd or hoard?—that makes people drop soft serve in their Underoos.

Still, zombies are overdone. They may be more overdone than rats and skeletons at this point, especially since many video games change what they call zombies. Draugr. Feral ghouls. Clickers. Infected. They’re still zombies.

Pitiful Unique Enemies

Slimes (Dragon Quest)

Slimes are one of the first things fans of Dragon Quest think of. They’re iconic. They also consist of nothing but weak sauce in the shape of a poop emoji. There’s a reason slimes are often your first enemy when starting a Dragon Quest game. They’re easy.

Keep smiling though. You’re the poop.

Goombas (Super Mario Brothers)

Yep. The mushroom shaped goombas are another example of an iconic video game enemy that’s too easy to kill. All Mario has to do is jump on them, and that’s a good thing because that’s all Mario can do at the beginning of most Super Mario Brothers games. One word: squish.

Mudcrabs (Elder Scrolls)

If an Elder Scrolls entry doesn’t start a player with rats, it’ll start them with mudcrabs. Let’s mix it up and start the player character in a half-flooded dungeon and pit them against half rats and half mudcrabs.

Mudcrabs are just crabs who live in mud. Despite their shell, they’re easy to defeat. The only thing that would scare me is if my character somehow contracted mudcrabs. That would scare me a lot more than Ataxia.

Ridiculously Easy Boss Enemies

Alduin (Elder Scrolls)

Man, I’m beating up on Elder Scrolls with these lists. I’m sorry, Bethesda. I promise that I like your games. I’m a huge Bethesda fanboy, but they’ve made some stinker enemies. The build-up to Alduin in Skyrim was fantastic, but Alduin himself must’ve read the word of weakness right before the main storyline’s final battle.

I’ve had tougher battles getting rid of mudcrabs.

Human Reaper Larva (Mass Effect 2)

Mass Effect is another series I love, but it’s another case of the final villain of the game (Mass Effect 2 to be specific) not living up to its billing. Cast as the most powerful and terrifying race, the vision gamers built of reapers in the minds was shattered when fighting this simplistic enemy. It wasn’t terrifying. It took no time at all to beat. I’m thinking human DNA wasn’t the best one to choose from. Countless hours of making reapers sound awesome wasted.

343 Guilty Spark (Halo 3)

He’s a tiny AI that’s cast as comic relief in the final installment of the Halo trilogy. This game is what the entire series built up toward, and guess who the ultimate boss turned out to be? The tiny AI that was supposed to be comic relief and takes three hits to take out. His name is even 343 Guilty Spark. Bungie is guilty of making a lame villain.

There’s plenty of weak sauce to go around. I spread a little on my hot dogs every game night. Which villains do you think are weak sauce? Let us know in comments, and if you like more daily, weak write-ups, subscribe for updates.