Your uncle Geekly trophy hunts from time to time, but most of my PS4 trophies must meet certain criteria for me to pursue it. For those of you who don’t know, a PS4 platinum trophy is usually handed out when the player earns every other trophy (or accomplishment if you’re an X-Box player) the game has to offer. Not all games offer a platinum trophy—I’m looking at you, Apex Legends—and for those games I’ll collect all the trophies I can. Also, there are plenty of games that hand out a platinum after an hour or two or in the case of My Name is Mayo thirty minutes, but countless PS4 platinum trophies require work. Lots and lots of hours of grinding.
Like I said, I do trophy hunt at times, so you may see the My Name is Mayo platinum buried in my profile. I’m not proud of it. I sold out to gain a few Playstation levels and make my stats look good. But most of platinum trophies are legit. I promise.
If you’re wondering what My Name is Mayo is, it’s a game where one clicks on a jar of mayonnaise wearing provocative clothing. The jar even dons a leopard print bikini. Again, this isn’t the high point of my gaming trophies, but other game trophies are better. Honest. The following is a list for the more difficult games in which I choose to earn a platinum.
I Have to Like the Game
Okay, this is a duh moment, but if I’m going to invest over a hundred hours to get every trophy a video game needs for a platinum trophy or get all the trophies the game has in its catalogue, I’d better like it. Heck. I better love the game. Skyrim? Sure. Persona 5? Of course. Final Fantasy XV? Yes—I liked it enough to earn the platinum, but it could’ve been better. Fallout 4? Why did I get that one? Nubla? It’s a very good puzzle game with an easy to get platinum, so this may have been another trophy hunter moment—but I don’t care. Where was I? Yes. I must like the game to even think about earning the game’s platinum. Earning a platinum trophy shows your love of the game to the world.
No Online Multiplayer Trophies Needed
I like playing online video games every once and while, but I’m not any good at them and I won’t be able to unlock any online trophies—or at least most of them. As soon as I see that a game that can be played solo has an online component to its platinum trophy, I know I’m not getting the ultimate prize.
I liked the Magic: The Gathering video games from the PS3 but knew I would never get every trophy because I saw that I had to win X number of online matches and place in the top ten during an event. That’s not for me. I unlocked every other ridiculous trophy for those games except for the online ones, and the old Magic games aren’t even the most difficult of the bunch. Anything ultra-competitive like Fortnite, Overwatch, or Apex Legends will yield gold for me at best.
Speaking of gold, I stunk at the N64’s Goldeneye. I like the game. It deserves all the accolades it receives, but you know I’m no good at multiplayer games if I can’t win Goldeneye multiplayer while playing as Oddjob. Sure, Kyle, you can cheat by picking Oddjob. He starts with armor and a weapon (his hat) when no one else begins the game with either and must scrounge the map for both. I still lost consistently.
No Hard Mode Required
There are people in the world who like to be challenged with video games. It’s great if you’re one of them. I’m not—most of the time. I may play a hard mode if a game offers one, but it’s a turnoff for me earning a platinum trophy if I must beat the game on the game’s most difficult setting to unlock it. Did I play PS4’s Spider-Man? Yes. I even played it on the unlockable ultimate difficulty setting, but I don’t like being told to play a certain way in order to earn a platinum trophy.
The Uncharted series is one of my favorites, but as soon as I see that I must finish the game on the most difficult setting, I know I’m not getting the game’s best trophy. Life is hard enough. Why must I play Nightmare Mode or Are You Kidding Me Mode or Ludicrous Mode or Geekly Must Die Mode? I’ll try the more difficult modes, but don’t expect me to do anything.
No Speed Playthroughs
If you’re one of those people who can finish Super Mario Brothers in 2 minutes flat, good for you. You’re awesome and your reflexes are second to none. I’m not one of these people. But my lack of speed playthroughs goes beyond this. I don’t believe Final Fantasy VII has a speed playthrough trophy, but I’ve seen games of its ilk (other JRPGs and western RPGs) offering one for beating the game in under 20-25 hours. If I beat Final Fantasy VII or any game of that type that fast, I feel cheated.
I like to take my time. Give me a world and characters I can lose myself in and I’ll do just that.
A Maximum of 3 Playthroughs
If I can’t get all the trophies in three playthroughs, I’m out. Usually, I don’t like playing a game a third time. Persona 5 took me almost three playthroughs because I missed a minor something during my second play and I considered abandoning the game’s platinum since it would take me a third. After several grunts and groans, I fired up the game for another play and cursed at myself during the next twenty or so hours. I like earning the platinum in a single play whenever possible.
2 Shiny Platinum Trophies for Every Embarrassment
Yes. I own some embarrassing platinums in my PS4 case, but your uncle Geekly strives for 2 platinums I don’t mind displaying for each one I hide behind the rest. I mentioned My Name is Mayo earlier, but I include Telltale Games platinum trophies in this group as well. All one must do to get most Telltale Game platinums is finish the game. That’s too easy. I’ll do it, but your trophy goes in the back row. I want trophies I don’t mind polishing in the front.
After taking a moment of silence for Telltale Games closing their doors late last year—I liked their games despite how easy it was to get their platinum trophies—let us know what criteria you look for when going for a game’s platinum in the comments. Do you even care if you ever earn a platinum? Which platinum trophies do you own?