Heroes aren’t the only lame-ohs. Here are some pathetic villains. We give you a group of powers and you have to guess which one’s the real power.
1) The Slug
a) Moves really slow, so The Flash runs past him without noticing.
b) Suffocates lackeys who fail him in his fat rolls—obesity is a silent killer.
c) Spews toxic ooze from his nipples—that milkshake chases boys from the yard.
d) If you shake salt on him, his body dissolves.
2) Rainbow Raider
a) Shoots color beams from his goggles which alter the mood of his victims.
b) Rainbows act as bridges for his crime waves.
c) Disorients his victims by changing the color of their skin.
d) Changes the color of traffic lights, causing mass hysteria in cities—that two hour commute just got longer.
3) Beard Hunter
a) After his father never came home after his shift as a barber, Beard Hunter hunts every shaggy haired and faced man until he finds revenge.
b) Beard Hunter searches the world over for a man with the perfect Abraham Lincoln beard.
c) Asks his mirror every day “Who has the best beard” and kills anyone with a better beard than him.
d) Never able to grow facial hair, Beard Hunter attacks all bearded men.
a) Conducts millions of mathematical equations in his head to determine what his foes will do next—That’s cool, but can I get him to do my taxes?
b) As an IRS agent, Calculator skims money off the top of every one’s income taxes.
c) With the help of a super-sized calculator strapped to his body, Calculator can determine his foes’ next move—otherwise known as Radio Shack chic.
d) Confounds police and super heroes alike with his numbers-based crimes.
a) Dons a nightmarish Halloween mask, plays loud music and robs people as they cover their ears.
b) Deploying his mad Boy Scout skills, Slipknot kills people by tying them up—unfortunately, most of his enemies can fly.
c) Ties the neckties and bowties of every mobster in Kingpin’s army—someone has to do it, and Kingpin’s fingers are too fat.
d) Always sure footed, Slipknot’s name should actually be Slipnot.
6) Turtle Man
a) Has a human sized turtle shell and he knows how to use it.
b) Looks good in any turtleneck—hey, turtlenecks are making a comeback.
c) Has bulletproof scales all over his body and a beak for a mouth.
d) Moves really slow, so The Flash runs past him without noticing.