Designer: Brian and Brent Knudson
Publisher: Closet Nerd Games
Date Released: 2011
Number of Players: 3-4 (best with four)
Age Range: 8 and up
Setup Time: minimal
Play Time: less than 20 minutes
You and the other players at the table own a group of kittens—assigned to each player by color (red, green, blue, and yellow)—and we all know that kittens are curious by nature. Unfortunately, your kittens have wandered into a dangerous kitchen with a blender so large it can blend kitties into Frappucinos. You have to save your kittens by getting them into a super-sized box, while dooming your opponents kittens by placing them in the blender and hitting frappe. Sound twisted? It is, but Kittens in a Blender is good, clean, grotesque fun for the whole family.
You start the game by placing the game box top on the table, open-side up and placing the oversized Blender card in it face up. That’s the Blender. Then, you place the oversized Box card face up in the game box’s base. That’s the Box. Leave a little space between the Blender and the Box, and that space is the Counter. The Blender is considered one space from the Counter, and the Counter is one space from the Box, so the Box is two spaces away from the Blender. (This will make more sense when we get to the different kinds of cards.)
You play two cards on your turn and then draw back up to a 6 card hand. Players can play kitten cards on the Counter, in the Blender, or in the Box. All other cards are played face up in front of the player, so everyone knows which cards have been played.
The two most common cards—other than the adorable, ill-fated kittens—are Kitties on the Move and Blend cards. Kitties on the Move moves any number of kittens a total number of spaces equal to what’s printed on the card (1, 2, or 3). Blend cards blend every kitten in the Blender, saves the kittens in the Box, and moves the kittens on the Counter to the Blender. There are some Blend: Pulse cards that allow players to counter another Blend card that’s been played on a turn, so you can save your kitties.
Mayhem ensues when you play cards that send all the kittens to the Blender, to the Box, or to the Counter. There’s even a card that allows you to select one players kittens and put just their kittens in the blender. Take that, you sorry so-and-so. And you can throw a complete wrench in the works by playing Dog’s in the Kitchen, which makes each player hand their cards to the player on their left or right.
Play ends when all 16 Blend cards have been played. Saved kittens are worth 2 points, and blended kittens lose you 2 points. The highest score wins.
Did I mention that most of these kittens are gut-wrenching cute, and they have awesome names? No. Well, they are and they do, and that makes sentencing these little guys to death all the more reprehensible. You’ll find yourself having to make tough decisions with your own kittens like who do I save, Romeo or Chopsticks? Personally, I’d pick Chopsticks because Romeo’s supposed to die.
The gameplay is fast and furious. You won’t find much in the way of strategy as most of the game revolves around how lucky you and your kittens are. Still, Kittens in a Blender is a great way to pass the time. Just make sure you don’t put your real life kittens in a blender and give your kitty at home a hug and apologize for playing such a despicable game.
Verdict: An easy, quick, cute and raunchy card game that’s fun for a wide range of gamers. If you’re looking for a strategy heavy game or a game with more substance, you’ll have to go somewhere else, but if you’re looking for some kooky fun, Kittens in a Blender might hit the spot.