It Was Thirty Years Ago Today

Bob made his first specialty burger: Baby, You can Chive My Car Burger. It comes with sour cream, chives, and pickle wheels on the side of the bun so the burger looks like a car. Bob made it for one of Bob senior’s regular customers.

The customer looked genuinely interested in the specialty burger and all of Bob junior’s other ideas: the Crispy Brinkley burger, the Richard Persimmons burger, and the Great is Gouda burger. Too bad Bob senior threw away teenage Bob junior’s burger before the customer had a chance to take a bite.

Letters are for losers

Who needs to write a letter to Santa when you’ve got a direct line with the big man in red and white? It may be blasphemous—about as much as Bob’s burger of the day the “Cheeses is Born Burger (Comes with Baby Swiss)”—but the Belcher children pray to Santa.

Don’t know what to get the Belchers? Here’s the kids’ list for Christmas:

Tina: An Australian firefighters holding puppies in casual settings calendar
Gene: A perm because you only live once, why not have a little fun up top
Louise: An internship in Santa’s company, preferably something in the flying animal or breaking and entering department

It Was Twenty Years Ago Today

Bob left his dad’s diner and as he walked out the door he shouted some parting burger names: I’m Sprouting Off Burger (comes with bean sprouts) and I’d be Cheddar Off Anywhere but Here Burger.

Some Pearls of Wisdom

Tina: One man’s trash is another man’s present for his father.

Tina: When a mysterious cowboy Santa tells you to go with him, you climb on that horse.
Gene: Also, free hat.