Are ready for another round of lame super heroes? Hey, just be thankful that it’s almost Thanksgiving. By now you should know the drill. We give you a lame super hero and a list of possible lame powers to match, and you have to choose which one is the real power.
1) Arm-Fall-Off Boy
a) His limbs detach from his body for easy transport in a suitcase—that’s one way to cut down on airfare.
b) He rips off an arm, reveals a weapon underneath, and the arm grows back quickly.
c) Takes off his arm and beats people with it—just like those old He-Man toys: take that, Merman.
d) No foe can hold onto their handheld firearms.
2) Madame Fatal
a) Make love to her and you die.
b) Make love to her, and she dies but comes back to life as the same woman in a different town.
c) Wears makeup to age herself and fights crime—kind of like a cosplay Murder She Wrote.
d) Cross dresses, wears makeup to age himself and fights crime—kind of like a cosplay Murder She Wrote meets Norman Bates.
a) Teleports himself and others but only to adjacent rooms.
b) Teleports himself and others to pocket, parallel dimensions.
c) Becomes a door to parallel dimensions—just so long as he’s not a revolving door.
d) Has a door to another dimension on his chest.
4) Gin Genie
a) Grants three wishes but you can only summon her if you drink an entire bottle of gin.
b) Makes others around her drunk.
c) Creates seismic waves equal to her blood alcohol content.
d) Rolls down the street, smokes endo, drinking her gin and juice—with her mind on her money and her money on her mind.
5) Leather Boy
a) Watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre and thought Leatherface had a nice shtick.
b) Uses whips and other leather based objects to fight crime.
c) Mistook a super hero team ad of “are you an adventure seeker?” for a bondage listing.
d) Transforms into a crocodile and has the proportional jaw strength of a croc.
6) Stone Boy
a) Turns into stone but can’t move when he’s a stone.
b) Manifests stones and flings them at his enemies—he’s always the one to cast the first stone.
c) Creates a perfect tombstone every time with his mind.
d) Smokes a bowl every day and gobbles everything he sees.